Saturday, July 23, 2011

A Facebook Exchange

Rockstar Step-Daughter#1:  
TBH; you're a cool step-mom! ♥
Even though I rarely see

July 19 at 3:25pm  *Like * Unlike * See Friendship

Rockstar Step-Mom:
Well...that whole rarely seeing each other thing can totally change now! ♥ I love and adore you Rockstar Step-Daughter #1. You're a totally cool step-daughter too. ♥

July 19 at 3:30pm * Like  *  Unlike

Rockstar Step-Daughter #1:
 I love you too, :)

July 19 at 8:41pm * Like  * Unlike

I read and re-read this exchange about 50 times.  Why?  Because, honest to God, I freakin love my step-daughters.  They are a part of the man I am absolutely head over heals in love with.  How could I not be completely smitten with them?  

When Shark and I first met, I was very open to building a fun relationship with his girls.  Afterall, I have no obligation to be these girls mother. They have a mom, so I get to be fun, the friend, not the disciplinarian, not the setter and keeper of the rules.  And of course it did not work out that way.  There was a ton of heartbreak, for all of us.  For the kids because they were stuck in the middle, afraid to go home and say if they had fun here out of loyalty to mom.  For Shark because the two entities he loved more than anything else on Earth, his children & his wife, were shadowed by a dark, menacing obscenely jealous cloud.  For me because I really really wanted to love these kids and have them love me too.  But every positive experience, every trip, every lesson we experienced, was met with bitterness, primarily for them.  Shark and I were able to erase voicemails, unheard, or delete text messages, unread.  We simply did not answer the phone.  But his daughters heard it all.  That makes me so sad for them.

So as much as it still kinda hurts, I would try very hard to understand when the things I got these girls, were left behind at our house, or tossed aside without another thought.  It wasn't a personal dig.  It was the situation.  But this is only to a certain extent.  I figured one day the girls might value a relationship with me as much as I looked forward to one with them.  But I wasn't going to hold my breath.

And then the oldest one turned 18 and a completely different kid emerged.  I mean, a total positive transformation.  The kind of kid who posts messages like the one above, randomly on my Facebook page.

I love this new turn of events.  I love this kid.  There is so much I want to do and show her. There is a whole side of this world and this life that I can uncover for her and watch her explore. How friggin' cool is that?

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