I received a phone call a few days ago. The conversation drifted along about recent events and then my former step-dad finally got around to mentioning how I referred to him and my mother as "Nazi Parents" on my Facebook page. He again had to tell me that the reason things occurred as they did for me growing up is merely because of birth order and the way he was raised by his own dad.
Evidently his dad ruled with an iron fist and this made him miserable as well. But if he was so miserable, then why would he repeat the pattern? Why not change it? That is what I have done with the Bug. I have quietly observed parents...ranging from my own, to my friends, to strangers in restaurants. I took the things I liked from each observation, tweaked them to my own style, combined it all with the idea of the kind of mom I always wanted and became the mom that I am.
The Bug is happy and well adjusted. And I have done a phenomenal job so far. When that conversation and the other points made begin to surface, I focus on where I am, how far I've come and refuse to give it further headspace.
It is what it is. I can't go back and change any of it. I can only make today better. And it is.